This has got to be one of the funniest ones in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
Operator:
'Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:
'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'
Operator:
'What sort of trouble??'
Caller:
'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator:
'Went away?'
Caller:
'They disappeared.'
Operator:
'Hmmm.......... So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:
'Nothing.'
Operator:
'Nothing??'
Caller:
'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:
'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller:
'How do I tell?'
Operator:
'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller:
'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:
'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:
'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator:
'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller:
'What's a monitor?'
Operator:
'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'
Caller:
'I don't know.'
Operator:
'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??'
Caller:
'Yes, I think so.'
Operator:
'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller:
'Yes, it is.'
Operator:
'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller:
'No.'
Operator:
'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'
Caller:
'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:
'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller:
'I can't reach.'
Operator:
'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller:
'No.'
Operator:
'Even if you maybe put your kneel on something and lean way over??'
Caller:
'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator:
'Dark??'
Caller:
'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator:
'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:
'I can't.'
Operator:
'No? Why not??'
Caller:
'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:
'A power what?......... A power failure? [............ long silence .............] Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller:
'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator:
'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller:
'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:
'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:
'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator:
'Tell them you're too *#&%$!^$* stupid to own a computer!!!!!'