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 Actual call centre conversations...

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Gabryel
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Number of posts : 529
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Location : Yorkshire
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PostSubject: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:53 am

Customer:
'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.

Operator:
'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.

Customer:
'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'..

Operator:
'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
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Gabryel
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Number of posts : 529
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Location : Yorkshire
Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: Re: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:55 am

Samsung Electronics

Caller:
'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator:
'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.

Caller:
'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator:
'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
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Gabryel
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Number of posts : 529
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Location : Yorkshire
Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: Re: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:56 am

RAC Motoring Services

Caller:
'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'

Operator:
' Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
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Gabryel
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Number of posts : 529
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Location : Yorkshire
Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: Re: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:58 am

Directory Enquiries

Caller:
'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.

Operator:
'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'

Caller:
'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
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Gabryel
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PostSubject: Re: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 5:59 am

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:

'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
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Gabryel
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Number of posts : 529
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Location : Yorkshire
Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: Re: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:00 am

Phone call to PC helpline...

Tech Support:
'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.

Customer:
'OK'.

Tech Support:
'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.

Customer:
'No'.

Tech Support:
'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer:
'No'.

Tech Support:
'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.

Customer:
'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
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Gabryel
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PostSubject: Re: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:01 am

Tech Support (another call):
'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

Customer:
'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
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Gabryel
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Registration date : 2008-07-04

PostSubject: Re: Actual call centre conversations...   Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:11 am

This has got to be one of the funniest ones in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator:
'Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller:
'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect.'

Operator:
'What sort of trouble??'

Caller:
'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'

Operator:
'Went away?'

Caller:
'They disappeared.'

Operator:
'Hmmm.......... So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller:
'Nothing.'

Operator:
'Nothing??'

Caller:
'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator:
'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'

Caller:
'How do I tell?'

Operator:
'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'

Caller:
'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator:
'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'

Caller:
'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'

Operator:
'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'

Caller:
'What's a monitor?'

Operator:
'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??'

Caller:
'I don't know.'

Operator:
'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.. Can you see that??'

Caller:
'Yes, I think so.'

Operator:
'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller:
'Yes, it is.'

Operator:
'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??'

Caller:
'No.'

Operator:
'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.'

Caller:
'Okay, here it is.'

Operator:
'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'

Caller:
'I can't reach.'

Operator:
'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'

Caller:
'No.'

Operator:
'Even if you maybe put your kneel on something and lean way over??'

Caller:
'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'

Operator:
'Dark??'

Caller:
'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.

Operator:
'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller:
'I can't.'

Operator:
'No? Why not??'

Caller:
'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator:
'A power what?......... A power failure? [............ long silence .............] Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'

Caller:
'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'

Operator:
'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'

Caller:
'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator:
'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller:
'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'

Operator:
'Tell them you're too *#&%$!^$* stupid to own a computer!!!!!'
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